Being intimate during your period: What doctors say about the benefits and risks

Some women may feel more in the mood during their period despite experiencing cramps and discomfort. Doctors explain why, along with the benefits, risks and precautions of being intimate during menstruation.

Sex is often one of the last things on a woman’s mind when she’s on her period. Many women don’t feel their best when dealing with cramps, body aches, sore breasts, bloating or diarrhoea.

But this time of the month is also when a woman may feel more sexually aroused (thank you hormones, for this inappropriate timing) so she might want to be intimate with her partner, despite the messiness of menstruation.

Dr Cassandra Cheong, consultant at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH), said fluctuating hormone levels – rising oestrogen and testosterone – during menstruation lead to increased libido in some women.

“This is also partly the body’s natural response as it begins preparing for ovulation in the days ahead,” the obstetrician and gynaecologist added. “However, this does not apply to everyone, as cramps, bloating and general discomfort can have the opposite effect.”

Dr Angela Tan, medical director at Reiwa Health, a sexual wellness clinic, said that just as premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms vary widely among women, they may also respond differently to hormonal changes. A woman’s sexual appetite may or may not increase during the time of the month.

Also, women in relationships may crave intimacy during their period, perhaps because being in a slightly uncomfortable state, they yearn more for love and care from their partner, said Dr Tan, who is a sexual wellness physician, a medical doctor with specialised training in diagnosing and managing conditions that affect sexual function, intimacy and reproductive well-being.

The benefits of intimacy still apply if you have sex during your period. In fact, it might even alleviate some PMS symptoms.

Dr Grace Huang, a general practitioner at DTAP Clinic, said that sexual intimacy can trigger the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which may help boost one’s mood and reduce stress.

Oxytocin is known as the ‘love hormone’ as it promotes positive feelings, while endorphins relieve pain and improve mood.

Uterine contractions from orgasms can also potentially reduce menstrual cramps, said Dr Huang.

And, if you suffer from menstrual migraines, she said the endorphins from sexual activity may help to blunt some of the discomfort and pain, she added.

PREGNANCY AND STI RISKS

Women who choose to have period sex should still be aware of the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

KKH’s Dr Cheong said it is a common misconception that having a period acts as protection.

While the chances of getting pregnant are lower during your period, it is not zero because sperm can survive in the body for up to five days. So, if you have a shorter menstrual cycle, you may ovulate sooner than you think after your period ends.

She added: “As for STIs, your period offers no protection there either. In fact, infections like HIV and hepatitis may be more easily transmitted due to increased blood exposure, so using protection is just as important as at any other time of the month.”

Dr Cheong also advised women to remove all menstrual products – such as tampons and menstrual cups – before sexual intercourse.

Leaving a tampon in during sex may push it higher into the vaginal canal, making it harder to remove. A forgotten tampon left in for too long can increase the risk of vaginal infection or toxic shock syndrome, a rare but life-threatening condition.

Reiwa Health's Dr Tan explained that menstrual cups sit in the vaginal canal and can be uncomfortable or displaced during sexual activity.

Unlike menstrual cups, some menstrual discs are designed to be worn during vaginal sex. They sit higher up in the vaginal canal, around the cervix. However, it's important to read the manufacturer’s instructions for safe placement.

“A disc may reduce mess but it is not contraception and does not protect against STIs,” Dr Tan told CNA Women. “It may not be completely leak-proof, especially with heavier flow. If it causes pain, pressure, slipping or repeated leaking, stop and reassess the fit.”

MAKING PERIOD INTIMACY MORE COMFORTABLE

Dr Angela Tan, medical director at Reiwa Health, said while period blood by itself is not dirty, it can be messy. “Be prepared for stains,” she said.

To make the whole experience more comfortable, Dr Grace Huang, a general practitioner at DTAP Clinic, said the couple should be logistically prepared to deal with the clean-up.

If sitting or lying down, you can place a dark-coloured towel underneath so that any stains are less visible.

Cleaning up may also be easier in the shower, Dr Tan suggested. “Showering before and after for both partners is definitely helpful but there is no need for women to douche,” she said.

Or, choose to have intercourse during your lighter-flow days so there’s potentially less of a mess.

OVERCOMING THE STIGMA OF PERIOD SEX

Dr Huang said period sex is a personal preference and the decision to abstain could be borne out of psychological discomfort when it comes to blood specifically or for religious reasons.

Dr Tan pointed out that period stigma is a fundamental issue – and when sexual intercourse is added to it, the stigma compounds.

“Many of us grew up being taught to hide periods, avoid talking about blood and act as though menstruation is embarrassing,” she told CNA Women. “That shame can spill over into sex, body image and relationships.

“We should normalise periods as a normal body function, but normalising does not mean making period sex compulsory, trendy or something everyone should enjoy,” she added.

Dr Tan said the healthier message should, instead, be: Periods are not dirty; sex during a period is a personal choice and both partners should be able to discuss it without disgust, pressure or shame.

Even if a woman gives period sex the thumbs up, her partner might not be keen – or vice versa. If it’s your partner who’s unwilling, you shouldn’t force him to accept it but, instead, have a conversation to understand what about period sex he is concerned about, said Dr Tan.

She recommended starting with curiosity, perhaps asking him: “Is it the mess, the smell, worries about hygiene or something else?

“A lot of discomfort comes from myths, embarrassment or simply not knowing what to expect. You can reassure him, explain what you are comfortable with and suggest practical ways to make it less messy.”

Dr Tan stressed that a partner does not need to be talked into having period sex – consent still applies both ways.

“The goal here is: Can we talk about intimacy without shame or avoidance? And note that there are many ways to be close without penetrative sex or to prove that he loves you,” she said.

If you’re the hesitant one, know that you do not have to get over the ick factor. “‘I don’t feel like sex during my period’ is a complete and valid answer,” said Dr Tan.

“There is a difference between challenging shame and forcing yourself past a genuine boundary,” said Dr Tan. “Some women may want to explore where the discomfort comes from but the end point is not that every woman should enjoy period sex – it’s being able to choose freely, without pressure or shame.”

She suggested telling your partner: “I’m happy to be close, but I don’t want penetrative sex when I’m bleeding” or you can simply ask for other forms of intimacy.

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