As part of its “Hot Bat Summer” promotional event with DC Comics, Epic Games added new swimsuit skins for Batman, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy to Fortnite on July 16. Such an event, really, should not justify an entire article, but for several different reasons, the addition of these four mildly titillating skins has caused the internet to lose its collective mind.

If you hadn’t seen the skins in question before clicking on this article, you may have assumed that they are mind-blowingly raunchy, but the truth is that they’re just… some ladies in bikinis. Oh, and Batman is there too.

And yet, here we are. Multiple articles and social posts on several different websites have touted these outfits as something akin to pornography. This is not a joke or an exaggeration, by the way, as a group of concerned fathers on quite possibly the most boring podcast I’ve witnessed recently got dragged on X for stating that the skins were “signalling sexual energy” and that they had deleted Fortnite from their children’s consoles to protect them. 

This isn’t an isolated issue either, as there have been multiple posts from concerned parents on Instagram, Facebook, and even the Fortnite subreddit complaining about how “sexually explicit” the skins are. Again, this isn’t nearly on the same level as Captain America’s massive, jiggly shlong in Marvel Rivals—it’s just some bloody swimsuits.

It’s important to note that Fortnite is a Teen-rated game by the ESRB, which means that parents were warned quite some time ago that they shouldn’t be letting anyone under the age of 13 play it. Even if we ignore that fact, though, as many parents apparently already do, the one thing you can’t fault Epic Games for is its parental control options. Likewise, the Hot Bat Summer skins in question carry their own 13+ age ratings, which means that you can’t use them in E-rated modes like Lego Fortnite.

Folks on X have also been losing it over the jiggle physics on the Hot Bat Summer skins. Again, if you were expecting something akin to a massive piece of jello getting violently shaken, then I have some terrible news for you, because said jiggle physics are incredibly tame.

Coming at things from the opposite direction, a portion of the Fortnite fandom briefly crashed out when Epic Games accidentally posted a version of Poison Ivy’s skin to its socials that showed a tiny bit less skin, which ultimately prompted Epic to clarify that said skin had not been censored and would be released in all of its ever-so-slightly-lewd glory. Oh, also, don’t search “Fortnite” on X right now if you’re at work, because the 3D porn animators are having a field day with these skins.

All of this has just got me asking…is this it? These bikini skins are what’s causing the internet to go buck wild right now? You know you folks can just Google the word “boobs,” and the internet will show you boobs, right? And I know you guys have internet connections, because you’re using them to play Fortnite. I don’t know what I expected, but some milqetoast-ass jiggle physics and some bikinis that are no more spicy than what you’d see at your local beach was not it.