July 23, 2026 — 5:00am
Save
You have reached your maximum number of saved items.
Remove items from your saved list to add more.
AAA
As I have edged past middle age and moved towards, well, later middle age, I have noticed myself becoming less judgmental. I don’t care about a person’s life choices, as long as they are nice human and do no harm to others.
Just the other day, for example, I was listening to a podcast about polyamory as I was climbing the escalator at my local Westfield. Wouldn’t be my cup of tea, I thought, as a woman described her relationships with her three partners, but hey, good for her!
As I congratulated myself on my open-mindedness, I spotted a man standing on the wrong side of the escalator, blocking my path. What a moron, I thought, as I stomped pointedly around him. How hard is it to stand to the left?
Live and let live? Sure. Just don’t stand on the wrong side of the escalator.iStock
I realised, at that moment, that I have found myself in a rather contradictory state of mind. As much as I wholeheartedly accept people from all walks of life, I will turn on them in an instant if they inconvenience me in any way.
I am both wonderfully compassionate and intensely intolerant. You breastfed your son until he was eight and you only eat white foods? My, how fascinating. You do you! You stand stock still on the wrong side of the escalator? I want to call the police and have you banned from the shops.
Life is tough, so whatever brings you joy or fulfillment is fine, whether it is selling jewellery made from semen (it’s a thing!) or marrying a chatbot on your phone.
KERRI SACKVILLE
You identify as a Wiccan and changed your name to Goddess Spirit Love? Cool, sounds interesting, tell me about it. You ride an e-bike without a helmet with your mate on the back? I want to scream at you for your idiocy and smack you in the head.
I truly do not care what lifestyle you adopt, as long as it does not impact negatively on others. Life is tough, so whatever brings you joy or fulfillment is fine, whether it is selling jewellery made from semen (it’s a thing!) or marrying a chatbot on your phone.
But life is also short and people’s choices keep impacting negatively on me! And I don’t want to waste a minute of the (increasingly limited) time I have left on this planet being stuck behind some dude standing on the wrong side of the escalator, or veering out of the way of a cyclist who is riding without a bloody helmet in peak-hour traffic.
I don’t want to be so intolerant of other human beings. I want to be a good and serene person, particularly as I get older. I don’t want to be that grumpy old lady who mutters angrily at passers-by. I want to radiate love and acceptance for all.
And I’d be able to, if the other people in the world weren’t so insanely irritating. Drivers who fail to let me into their lane. Customers who make interminable small talk with the cashier while I’m standing in a queue behind them. Acquaintances who post ridiculous conspiracy theories online, clogging up my Facebook feed with their nonsense. Patrons who get out their phones in the cinemas and distract me when I’m watching a movie. Groups of pedestrians hogging the footpath when I’m on my morning walk. Neighbours who put food scraps in the yellow recycle bin instead of the green.
The list goes on. They all make me incensed.
I know what the younger people would say because three of them are my children, and they say it to me. They’d say, “Hey, Boomer, don’t sweat the small stuff!” (And for the record, I’m not a Boomer, I’m Gen X, thank you very much.)
Thing is, though, the small stuff is all I can sweat. The big stuff is just too big. I have worked very hard in recent times not to dwell too much on massive, intractable problems.
Perhaps my aggravation at minor inconveniences is just redirected anger at the state of the world. Perhaps the rage I feel at the woman who didn’t clean up her dog poop is actually sublimated rage at climate change and the evils of technology. Perhaps my urge to hunt down the call-centre operator who disconnected me after I’d been on hold for 23 minutes is simply displaced grief at global conflicts and injustices.
Or perhaps I really am just a grumpy old lady, all out of patience after 57 years of life on this chaotic planet among this crazy species.
Either way, be careful if you see me at the shops. I will honour your gender identity. I will respect your religious beliefs. I will not judge your sexual preferences or your parenting style or your appearance or your work. But if you push in front of me in a queue, or take too long to order your coffee, or let your silly dog lick my ankles, or block the supermarket aisle with your trolley, you’d better be prepared for the consequences.
I will roll my eyes at you. I will sigh. I will mutter.
Watch out. I am going to be cross.
Get the best of Sunday Life magazine delivered to your inbox every Sunday morning. Sign up here for our free newsletter.
Save
You have reached your maximum number of saved items.
Remove items from your saved list to add more.
Kerri Sackville is an author, columnist and mother of three. Her new book is The Secret Life of You: How a bit of alone time can change your life, relationships and maybe the world.Connect via X or Facebook.