Each week Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions about workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: An office affair, bullying at a community organisation and overreliance on outside consultants.

I accidentally discovered my married boss is having an affair with someone at work. My boss handed me his phone during a meeting to look at a document and a message popped up from another employee, leaving little to the imagination. She is not his direct report but a married peer of his. My boss and the woman involved have both always been kind to me but now I feel sick every time I see them together. Do I pretend I never saw it?

Yes, I think you should ignore it. Unless what you’ve uncovered involves misconduct that affects the workplace or puts someone at risk, it sounds as if this is something you should leave alone. I don’t think you should share the information. Maintain the confidence you would hope someone else might do for you if they saw something on your phone you hoped no one would see.

You didn’t go looking for the information, it came to you – but that doesn’t make you responsible for doing anything about it. Affairs can have devastating personal consequences but they are not automatically workplace matters simply because colleagues, especially if peers, are involved.

Continue to treat both people professionally and resist the temptation to become involved. If either tries to draw you into the situation, politely decline. If the relationship starts affecting decisions, creating conflicts of interest or harming others at work, that’s a different matter.

To gain skills while looking for paid employment I became a volunteer with a community organisation. I recently found out that the blokey management had bullied a past female volunteer and she left due to the bad culture. I really love my role but I’m concerned about my legal rights and whether I have any protection. How can I address this with management without creating an awkward scenario? It may lead them to ask me to leave since I’m not being paid anyway.

Just because you are a volunteer doesn’t mean it is OK to be bullied. In many organisations volunteers are protected by the same anti-bullying framework that applies to employees, and employers also have duties under work health and safety laws to provide a safe workplace. Don’t assume that because you’re unpaid you have no rights.

Rather than confronting management based solely on what happened to someone else, just ask about the organisation’s policies that apply to volunteers, and how concerns are investigated and addressed. You can frame it positively: “As a volunteer, I’d like to understand what protections are in place if issues arise.” The response will tell you a great deal about their culture.

If you later experience or witness bullying, document specific incidents and use the organisation’s internal processes first. A respectful workplace isn’t just a perk for paid employees – every organisation should strive to meet the standard. Whether your community organisation comes within the jurisdiction of the Fair Work Ombudsman will depend on the circumstances but you can always contact the office to be sure and to receive expert advice.

My employer constantly brings in outside consultants who claim major improvements will follow, telling us the changes will improve everyone’s life. The opposite is the case, as most of these new ideas do not work, and cause a wave of disruption. Why does management have so much faith in what is promised but blames everyone else for the often dismal result?

I suspect your letter has many readers nodding their heads in agreement. There wouldn’t be many employees who haven’t seen consultants engaged at some point, often by leaders in need of fresh ideas. In principle this is not unreasonable.

Where the whole thing becomes unstuck is assuming that an idea that looks good on paper will automatically work in practice. Consultants usually recommend what should happen – but employees at the coal face understand what actually can happen. The only way most initiatives can work is when these align, a fact many leaders overlook in their excitement over the new idea from the latest consultant.

When change fails, it’s easier to blame resistance from within the organisation than to admit that the solution – which has often come at enormous expense – was poorly designed or badly implemented from the outset. Sadly, while this is human nature, it isn’t good leadership.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

Looking for more Got a Minute columns?

• I’m a breastfeeding mum. How much should my workplace cater to me?
• My holiday was ruined by a redundancy threat. I stayed, but I’m still mad
• My bad date is threatening to go to my employer. How can I stop her?

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.