Falling ★★

Falling★★

A new series from British screenwriter Jack Thorne is usually exciting for a TV buff – as well as the gritty trilogy This Is England, the stage adaptation of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and dozens of other acclaimed works, Thorne was the co-writer of the groundbreaking series Adolescence.

And on paper, his new series sounds brilliant – Falling is Thorne’s first love story, and he’s gone for the “hot for preacher” trope, with a nun falling for a priest. The cast is amazing – TV veteran Keeley Hawes (who’s been in everything from Spooks to The Assassin) is the nun who, after almost 30 years, gives it all up to be with Father Hicks, played by Paapa Essiedu (I May Destroy You, The Lazarus Project and star of HBO’s upcoming Harry Potter TV series), and it’s mostly directed by Peter Hoar, the Emmy Award-winning director of the feted The Last Of Us episode Long, Long Time.

The forbidden love angle has long been a popular romance novel archetype but surely, I thought, Thorne would tackle it in a novel way. The answer is a hard no. (Said the Bishop to the actress.)

Hawes is Anna, a nun in a cloistered Catholic order in rural England, where she spends her days in the convent’s garden, leaving the grounds only to deliver vegetables to the local food bank. She’s a devoted member, primed to take over from the convent’s abbess Francesca (Niamh Cusack). That is, until a visit from Father Hicks. We’re first introduced to Hicks, dressed in full cassock, having a ciggie on the side of a motorway where his car has broken down; that, and his obvious youth, are how we know he’s a “Cool Priest”. He serves a gritty Bristol parish, where he’s considered “radical”; rather than spending money on church heating, as his bishop (Jason Watkins) wants, Hicks is more concerned with setting up a needle exchange.

He’s en route to the convent to meet with the abbess about bringing congregation members to experience a “life of conviction”. When he arrives, he meets Anna, and much coy eye-flirting takes place. Then, when she’s making eggs, she burns herself and Hicks rushes to help soothe her wound – and accidentally touches her hand! This seals the Mills & Boon-esque deal. Yes, that’s all it takes to overturn their lives.

There’s a second visit with more sustained eye contact, and the series’ best, if utterly implausible, line, when Hicks asks if he can see Anna’s cabbages, to which she replies, “Only if you get me really drunk first”. Trust me, that’s as saucy as things get. Shortly afterwards, Anna walks out of the convent and heads to Hicks’ church to declare her feelings. But this series is achingly slow, and Hicks spends the next three episodes looking bewildered; don’t expect any habit-ripping.

Mercifully, only the first four episodes were available to preview, during which there’s no actual romance, and a phenomenal lack of chemistry between the leads. At no point does this “love” feel plausible, despite the brilliant actors.

The story widens out to take in Hicks’ dealings with his parishioners (teens in trouble; abusive fathers; giving Last Rites), and Anna trying to reintegrate into modern life (she hasn’t seen a mirror for more than 20 years, despite clearly adhering to an incredible skincare routine), but even those scenes, which are more in Thorne’s wheelhouse, are weighed down by an unimaginative earnestness.

Even the crises of faith our two leads must endure (very slowly), fail to go deep; Hicks, predictably, has a secret former life to grapple with, while Anna’s issue is very little knowledge of life outside the convent. Forbidden love has never looked so unappealing; you might find yourself praying for either something to actually happen, or for it to end.

Falling is not even a curate’s egg – it’s just plain dull. But the biggest sin here is the script: the writing is stolid, earnest and preachy. If Thorne goes to confession over this series, he deserves some serious penance.

Falling airs at 9.05pm on Sundays on the ABC and ABC iview.

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