Sandra Bullock is opening up about the loss of her longtime partner, Bryan Randall, for the first time since his death in August 2023.

Randall — a model-turned-photographer — met Bullock in 2015 after she hired him to photograph her son Louis’ fifth birthday party. He was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) in 2020.

ALS is a progressive nervous system disease in which the brain gradually loses its connection with the muscles, taking away a person’s ability to walk, talk, eat and, eventually, breathe. There is currently no cure or treatment that halts progression.

Bullock, 62, recalled the “traumatic diagnosis” in the forthcoming episode of the Smartless podcast, which is currently available to SiriusXM early access subscribers.

“I wasn’t allowed to speak about it. That was [his] request and I tried — I honored it,” Bullock told hosts Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes.

“My sister [Gesine Bullock-Prado] was the only one who knew for a while.”

Bullock admitted that the secrecy “isolated me in the process” amid the Covid-19 pandemic while carrying the “huge weight” of his diagnosis.

Bullock said she told herself, “Oh, I can handle that. I can be quiet.” But caring for Randall while raising her two young children during the pandemic ultimately became “a trifecta that was pretty dark,” she said.

She eventually shared what was happening with her friends Jennifer Aniston and Bateman’s wife, Amanda.

“I think where he was in his journey, both physically and mentally, I started grieving Bryan four years before he passed,” Bullock said. “There was something that had shifted.”

“My person left a lot earlier than the body left,” Practical Magic 2 star continued. “I don’t think I ever dealt with that until after he passed, because you’re just on this treadmill.”

The actor and Randall co-parented her son, Louis, and daughter, Laila, as well as Randall’s daughter from a previous relationship, Skylar Staten Randall.

ALS has received heightened public attention in recent years following a number of high-profile diagnoses and deaths.

Grey’s Anatomy and Euphoria star Eric Dane died earlier this year from the disease after what his family called “a courageous battle with ALS.” In the months before his death, he raised awareness of the condition, even playing a firefighter with ALS on NBC’s Brilliant Minds.

In May, Russell Andrews, a veteran actor who appeared in major shows like Better Call Saul and Grey’s Anatomy, shared his diagnosis with ALS.

“Receiving this diagnosis changed my life,” Andrews said via ALS Network. “What I didn’t expect was the depth of connection and support that comes with it. There’s a community here that shows up in ways that matter.”

Bullock’s episode of SmartLess will be available on all podcast platforms on August 24.